The Amazing Spider-Man

No idea about scenes from this movie, folks. All you're getting is this. Enjoy.

No idea about scenes from this movie, folks. All you’re getting is this. Enjoy.

This isn’t a review of The Amazing Spider-Man. This is a boycott.

That’s right, I never saw last’s year’s third-string superhero movie, and I don’t plan to. It’s not the generally lackluster reviews it’s gotten, it’s not a response to its indecisive abstention from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s not the casting.

It’s just that…well, I’ll take you through my thought process. When I’m iffy about whether or not to see a movie, I ask “Would I want to see this movie without the pre-existing intellectual property?” For example, take Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol from a couple years ago. When it came out, I had only seen a half-hour or so of the third movie, and hadn’t really enjoyed it. But this was looking to be an action-light, suspense-based spy movie, made by Brad Bird and J.J. Abrams, as well as getting surprisingly positive reviews. And so, I saw it, and it paid off – as a huge fan of the original 1960’s Mission: Impossible TV series, Ghost Protocol was probably the best adaptation of the series there is, and still stands up on its own terms as a character-driven espionage thriller. Plus, it’s got Tom Cruise falling off the tallest building in the world. I’m not made of stone, guys.

See this right now. I cannot stress this enough.

See this right now. I cannot stress this enough.

With Amazing, I was looking at a standard coming-of-age action movie, with an unproven production staff and the writer behind Harry Potter. And that, frankly, wasn’t enough to entice me. Even if they had thrown a few glances in the direction of the aforementioned Marvel Cinematic Universe, that wouldn’t have been enough – I enjoyed The Avengers as much as the next guy, but again, this wasn’t made by the same team.

Then, there’s the whole reboot question, and that point is where a lack of interest became an active dislike. I understand the logic behind continuity reboots, and reusing old intellectual property, and so on, but I’ll also say that this is simply ridiculous. It’s a big step on the road to creative stagnation – which is a bad thing, in case you didn’t know.

I’ll admit, I saw Man of Steel, but only because it was one of those Big Ol’ Movies – surrounded by lots of discussion, cultural importance, and so on – and you had to see it to join in on all of that. Amazing, in contrast, seemed to fly under the radar by comparison – neither my real-life or internet friends were particularly abuzz about it.

And so, without even the factor of peer pressure that all those ‘90s TV shows warned me about, I had no reason at all to see Amazing. I just don’t want to support these movies – I’m not willing to give it my money, I’m not willing to get it on Netflix, I’m not even willing to add a number to its views on some third-party illegal site… not that I would normally, in any case, heh, heh heh.

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  1. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey | Year Late Reviews

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